Do’s and Don’t’s For Stepping Back into the Dating Pool: The Harsh but fun reality

FOR HER:

So you’ve dropped off your child at the sitter, got back home and taken a shower, now it’s TIME! You have to start getting ready for your first date since your split. Here’s a few tips and tricks to remember before your big date that you may have forgotten (it’s been a while you’re allowed).

1. Grab a glass of wine

• Everyone is nervous for a first date, especially if you haven’t been on one in a while. If wine isn’t your “cup of tea” then make a cup of tea, the whole point is to destress.

BUT: Stay away from caffeine. Too much will make you jittery and no beer! Beer makes you bloat, do you still want to fit in that pre-pregnancy dress or not?

2. Music is a necessity

• You can’t get ready without blasting music especially because your child is with the sitter, there’s literally no one to bother you. But, don’t get too absorbed in the music. We females tend to sing, dance and perform a full 45-minute show like we’re Beyonce and not being mindful of the time. We NEED to be mindful of the time, don’t want to be late!

3. Keep it simple

• Laying out your outfit is tricky because you don’t want to take out you’re entire closet. Minimize your choices by keeping the colours neutral. You only have so many black, white or blue clothes. So maybe that doesn’t help. If the date is “fancy” enough, you can never go wrong with the “little black dress.” You don’t have one? Borrow one or better yet, invest in one. It’s right up there with diamonds on a woman’s best friend list.

4. Start getting ready early

• Society has painted women as the species that takes the longest to get ready and most of the time, we do. But first impressions are EVERYTHING. It’s always good to make a guy wait, sending a hint of mystery, but it’s better you have him waiting because you’re stalling than having him waiting because you’re rushing. There’s a difference. So dinner is a 8 p.m., he’s picking you up at 7:30 p.m., that means you start getting ready at 5:30 p.m. No guy in the world wants to wait on a woman, so don’t give him a reason to especially if you’re just sitting around doing nothing. Sit around doing nothing after you’re dressed and ready to head out.

FOR HIM

You did it! First step, complete. YOU ASKED HER OUT AND SHE SAID YES. Now, onto the hard part; planning the date. Don’t freak out, here’s some advice on how to ‘wow’ her considering you’re probably off your game.

1. Bring her flowers.

• All women believe that chivalry is dead, prove them wrong! Don’t be the guy that shows up empty handed and looking for a hand out. First impressions mean everything to a woman. She already thinks you’re kind of like the ex-boyfriend she’s no longer with, don’t be that guy.

2. Figure out what you’re going to talk about.

• There’s nothing wrong with being prepared. You both haven’t dated anyone in a while and even so, going on that first date whether it’s because you had a child, it’s usually after a break-up so you’re closed off and awkward. The goal is to not let it stay awkward. Use to the car ride to break the ice and lighten the mood so when you’re forced to sit across from each other at a table, you can make eye contact and engage in a meaningful conversation.

3. Arrive on time.

• I know a lot of the time women are running late. Duly noted, I’m guilty of this, BUT show up on time anyway. Or a trick to actually have her ready for the agreed time, call her while you’re 10 minutes away and say you’re two minutes away. Guaranteed to kick her in gear and scramble to pack her purse. So instead of having to wait, she’ll be on time. But if she isn’t then she either knows the trick or you wait five minutes, either way, it’s better than waiting 20 to 30 minutes, now isn’t it?

4. Don’t rush into anything.

• You have a child and whether she does or not, everyone is different on how they accept things that aren’t familiar to them. Remember it’s the first date! Just get to know her and let her get to know you. It’s perfectly fine to talk about your child, she should know that you’re a father, but don’t start pulling out baby pictures just yet. Ease her in, take your time. If she’s worth it, you wont have to rush anything.

#Love